This week was Pink Shirt Day to raise awareness of bullying. There were conversations in households, schools and even in workplaces, about bullying and the effects it has on all of us.
Bullying can come in many forms, the obvious and the more subtle. It can be a struggle for many children as they travel through their school years. Some bullies grow up and out of their bullying ways, they see what they are doing is wrong, they mature or maybe even find out themselves what bullying feels like and they make a conscious effort to stop.
Some bullies however, never "grow up". Some continue into their adult lives as bullies. You may know a few, I know I certainly do! Some are very apparent and boldly obvious with their bullying attitude and narcissistic ways, while others are much more subtle. They are the ones that often at times, fly under the radar.
Bullies behaviour can often times resemble that of children, who are still learning what is appropriate and what is not. Their behaviour can take the form of temper tantrums, rolling of eyes, manipulation, even giving the good old fashion silent treatment! All in an attempt to bully their way into getting what they want. The dynamics of dealing with people like this in the workplace can be difficult.
Bullyonline.org has this information on workplace bullying.
Why do people bully?
The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy. Bullying has nothing to do with managing etc; good managers manage, bad managers bully. Management is managing; bullying is not managing. Therefore, anyone who chooses to bully is admitting their inadequacy, and the extent to which a person bullies is a measure of their inadequacy. Bullies project their inadequacy on to others
What is bullying?
Just a few examples of what people who are bullied in the Workplace could encounter:
They:
*Are given the silent treatment: the bully refuses to communicate and avoids eye contact (always an indicator of an abusive relationship); often instructions are received only via email, memos, or a succession of yellow stickies or post-it notes
*Undermined, especially in front of others; false concerns are raised, or doubts are expressed over a person's performance or standard of work - however, the doubts lack substantive and quantifiable evidence, for they are only the bully's unreliable opinion and are for control, not performance enhancement
*Denied information or knowledge necessary for undertaking work and achieving objectives
*Forever subject to nit-picking and trivial fault-finding (the triviality is the giveaway)
*Belittled, degraded, demeaned, ridiculed, patronised, subject to disparaging remarks
As you can see from the few examples included above, bullying in the workplace is a subject we all need to educate ourselves on and to be conscious of. This could be going on in your workplace and maybe you have never noticed how this could be affecting a co-worker or maybe it is happening to you. In order for us to address it, we must first see that there is a problem, that what we all may think is just what we have to deal with when you work with a difficult person, could actually be more. It could be bullying.
I think over the last few years, the media has brought much more awareness to the issue and we as adults have done a good job of recognizing what is, and is not acceptable treatment of our children within our schools and within their peer groups. We are quick to recognize bullying and to stand up for the respect we expect for our children. We seem however, less responsive to the bullying occurring within our own demographic. The treatment we would never stand for if it were our children, we turn a blind eye to. What example does that set for our children?
Worth some thought as we finish out the work week.....
Here is a snippet of the Globe & Mail article which inspired Pink Shirt Day:
“David Shepherd, Travis Price and their teenage friends organized a high-school protest to wear pink in sympathy with a Grade 9 boy who was being bullied [for wearing a pink shirt]…[They] took a stand against bullying when they protested against the harassment of a new Grade 9 student by distributing pink T-shirts to all the boys in their school.
‘I learned that two people can come up with an idea, run with it, and it can do wonders,’ says Mr. Price, 17, who organized the pink protest. ‘Finally, someone stood up for a weaker kid.’
So Mr. Shepherd and some other headed off to a discount store and bought 50 pink tank tops. They sent out message to schoolmates that night, and the next morning they hauled the shirts to school in a plastic bag.
As they stood in the foyer handing out the shirts, the bullied boy walked in. His face spoke volumes. ‘It looked like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders,’ Mr. Price recalled.
The bullies were never heard from again.”
- See more at: http://www.pinkshirtday.ca/about/#sthash.DFs0holM.dpuf